Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I am married for 3 years. My husband keeps pressing my boobs 40-50 times a day. He never stops though I ask him not to. What I should do to stop it?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Can an astrologer predict that someone is in a physical relationship before marriage?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I can read

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What made you recently say to yourself, “Wait. Really?”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fakery

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

How do Democrat Party voters feel about the fact that Kamala Harris never received one primary vote to be the nominee in 2020 and certainly not in 2024?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can count

I have a reading level above third grade

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I see through liars

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I actually pay taxes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What is the logic behind the porn being legal but not prostitution? Isn't it the same thing in essence?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup